Ashton’s Eleven

Reviewed by John Russell

 People don’t seem to appreciate plot porn the way they used to. Back in the day, they’d sit through Debbie Does Dallas in an actual theater. Now, with scene access on DVDs it’s easier to just cut to the chase. You can see the action without wasting time watching porn stars try to act.

I’ve fast-forwarded through my fair share of cheesy storylines, but I haven’t given up on plot porn entirely. I mean, sure it’s kind of hokey, maybe a little unnecessary. But I like my sex put into context. I like a story to go along with the fucking, even if the acting is unimaginably dismal. For me, it’s all about the effort that goes into plot porn. Anyone can throw together a DVD of random sex scenes. But when there’s a plot, you know someone cared.                         

Such is the case with Ashton’s Eleven, the latest release from Eon Films. The story is a loose adaptation of Ocean’s Eleven. And when I say loose, I mean fisted-one-too-many-times kinda loose; fucking-a-bucket-of-water-loose; throwing-a-hotdog-down-a-wishing-well-loose; yo’ mama’s so loose…you get the idea.

 Eon’s super stud Ashton Ryan heads up the cast as a reformed crook. He’s in Las Vegas for 11 days (get it?) when some old friends turn up at his hotel room. Lead by Chad Phoenix, this group of felonious fags wants to steal $50 million from a casino, and they need Ashton’s help to seduce “an untouchable virgin” security guard.

 As actors, the boys are hit and miss. Ryan is particularly decent (was someone a theatre queer in high school?), and Phoenix makes a valiant effort, though his delivery is as stiff as his stiffy. The rest of the cast mostly keep quiet and look pretty.

 But what really matters is the sex, right? Ashton’s Eleven doesn’t disappoint on that front. It’s pretty much a twinkfest. All the guys are young and lean, without a trace of hair on their toned bodies. Of course, Ryan ignites the screen with his smooth abs, smoother charm, and that deep rumbling voice. His scene with Shane Stone sizzles as he slaps and spits on the bottom boy’s bubble butt. Whenever he mumbles “yeah, baby” it could melt butter.

 Ryan may be severely hot, but Tyler Mason and Jeremy Kirk actually manage to upstage him. Their scene pulsates with the visceral chemistry between them. The guys actually seem to be into each other and just happen to be fucking on camera. And something about their size differential kicks the hotness factor up a few notches. It’s almost romantic when strapping Kirk picks up the tiny Mason and carries him to the couch for some deep dickin’. Mason is the quintessential power bottom, uttering the sexiest gasps, yelps, and moans as Kirk plows him.

 The climactic orgy scene is a swirl of supple pink flesh. The whole gang is here, with the addition of JD Price and Damian King as the seduced casino security guards. Ryan gets a piece of just about everyone, starting out with Price and Kirk before slamming Mason and finally sweet talking King through his cum shot.

 Ashton’s Eleven gets extra points for glamorizing safer sex. Condoms are featured prominently in every scene rather than being glossed over or obscured as in most porn. The DVD features a bloopers reel, photo gallery, and – for those who don’t share my passion for the intricacies of a porno plot – money shot menu.